Fear and Need of the Feminine
by Leslee Hughes, Body Mind Psychotherapist, Sydney, New South Wales
Many of my clients have a fear of the feminine or mother. They do not trust and quite often live with a lot of anxiety and fear of life, feeling trapped on earth and more connected to the spirit world from whence they came. Living in daydreams, not quite focused in the present moment.
During a point of time in-utero, this person may have felt like a hated or unwanted child, even before birth. This particular structure is called a Schizoid, usually of high intellect and a very spiritual being.
Their struggle with mother creates an ungrounded state as they do not want to feel the pain of being unwanted, unloved and hated.
This may of course be a perception of feelings felt in the womb, that may be an incorrect assumption, as the Mum may have had her own challenges, in relationship to the father, general frustrations and concern around her own safety, security and wellbeing, as carrying a child for some women is not easy or the truth may be that the mother doesn’t really want this child and as a primary caretaker of the baby, this child has to survive their feelings of unwantedness and they do this by staying above their feelings.
The Schizoid’s energy is fragmented and they may have trouble putting the jigsaw of life together. There is an underlying terror of annihilation and possibly even death. Their eyes can be glazed over with frozenness, and there is a lack of uniformity in their body. It is incredible, how many of the schizoids survive a world of disconnectedness and to be so ungrounded creates many difficulties in manifesting their dreams.
It is my job as a therapist to create a VERY safe therapeutic relationship, so that with safe containment and faith I can help the client feel all the feelings they have and step by step they may have the courage to connect with their authentic feelings. Very gently, very gently.
The schizoid has an enormous amount of rage and terror of this and at the same time, there is always the fear of total abandonment if they were to confront their mother, so it is usually a better alternative for them to push people away, creating their own island of safety, but at the same time great aloneness.
For them the feminine is the enemy, they may find it very difficult to trust other women and yet there would be a genuine need for connection, the entrainment of mother and child was missing (the heart to heart connection from mother to child and baby to mother), how will these people find being a mother themselves, this is where multi generational wounds carry from one generation to another, until one finally takes responsibility and works through the issues and can come to a place of deep healing and self love, like a thawing out of self, warmth pervades, strengths grow and an inner groundedness that creates a foundation from which to spring into life with great trust and faith and from that an open heart.
As both men and women are created within the womb of their mother and cared for as a baby with the mother as the primary caretaker, this relationship cannot be underestimated in creating world peace, love not war, peace not tragedy, connectedness not separation.
God has chosen women to be the carriers and birthers of his children, can this not show of the belief in the feminine.
We as women need to glory in the faith God has in us and come back to the Core of the feminine, rejoice in beings mothers, there is nothing more fulfilling or Godly. We have a voice that is of a woman, it does not need to be loud and judgmental, but have a surety of our truth and deep wisdom that we carry and also gentleness.
“Reach and touch somebody’s hand, make this world a better place if you can. Try a little kindness you’ll see, it’s something that comes very naturally, we can change things if we start giving.”
Women have a big task ahead of them to reclaim their power not singularly but as a unit to bring peace to the world as spoken by Rainer Maria Rilke in “Letter to a Young Poet”
Yet it is a task that we must take up in earnest- to restore true femininity to a place of dignity, power and honor, to learn to love- if our planet and our civilization are to survive much beyond our present era.
Leslee Hughes is an experienced Body Mind Psychotherapist who works in Sydney, New South Wales, Australia.
Tel: 02 43893105
Mobile: 0407 934499
Website: www.lesleehughes.com.auCopyright 2015 Richard Boyd