How to Deal with Guilt and Regret

Everyone experiences guilt and regret at some point in life. Whether you’ve made past mistakes that hurt people or simply feel responsible for not doing things differently, these emotions can create a heavy burden. Left unchecked, they may lead to persistent guilt, negative self talk, emotional distress and even mental health conditions like major depression.

At Energetics Institute, we help individuals understand these complex emotions and support them through the healing process. With guidance, guilt can become a powerful tool for growth, rather than a source of shame and self blame. In this article, we explore productive ways to deal with guilt and regret, offering eight tips grounded in clinical psychology, growth, and emotional health.

1. Understand the Nature of Guilt and Regret

To deal with guilt effectively, it’s essential to differentiate between guilt and regret. Guilt happens when a person believes they have violated their own moral standards or caused harm. It is tied closely to personal responsibility. Regret is the sense of sorrow about a choice or missed opportunity, not necessarily linked to doing something wrong.

Guilt manifests in a range of emotional and physical symptoms, from guilty feelings and intense guilt to muscle tension, stress, and trouble sleeping. When guilt makes a person feel constantly ruminating on the past, it can erode their mental health and well being.

2. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgement

Feelings of guilt are a natural part of the human experience. Everyone makes mistakes, and accepting this truth is key. Instead of engaging in negative emotions like self blame or shame, try practising self reflection with kindness.

Many people feel guilty for actions that were unintentional or that happened during a difficult phase of life. Reflect on your past mistakes, but resist the urge to define yourself by them. Emotional healing begins when we acknowledge guilt without becoming consumed by it.

A mental health professional can help you explore whether your guilty feelings are proportionate or if they’re part of a deeper emotional wound. This creates a safe space for exploration and healing.

3. Take Responsibility, Not Blame

One of the healthiest ways to deal with guilt is to distinguish responsibility from self punishment. Owning your actions fosters growth. Blaming yourself excessively only deepens shame and limits your capacity for change.

To take responsibility might involve:

• Apologising to someone you’ve hurt with a sincere apology
• Changing specific behaviours that caused harm
• Setting clear boundaries to prevent further issues
• Making decisions that align with your current values

Remember, self improvement comes from facing the past with clarity and choosing to move forward.

4. Practise Self Compassion

Self compassion is a critical skill in managing feelings of guilt and regret. Practising self compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness, care and understanding that you would offer a close friend.

Guilt often leads to harsh inner criticism. You might find yourself thinking, “I’m a bad person” or “I can’t believe I did that.” Instead, practice self compassion through gentle inner talk:

• “I made a mistake, but I am not my mistake.”
• “I’m learning from this and I’m doing things differently now.”
• “I deserve forgiveness, too.”

This shift supports emotional health and builds a foundation for self forgiveness.

5. Reflect, Don’t Ruminate

There’s a difference between self reflection and rumination. Self reflection helps you understand why something happened and how you can grow from it. Constantly ruminating, however, traps you in negative feelings and blocks forward movement.

Try journaling or talking to a therapist to process your emotions. A private practice therapist can help you explore patterns without falling into negative self talk. Ask yourself:

• What triggered my feelings of guilt?
• What values do these feelings highlight?
• How can I honour those values today?

This insight lays the groundwork for behavioural change and emotional resilience.

6. Learn to Make Amends

A meaningful way to release guilt is by making amends. Whether you hurt people intentionally or unintentionally, a apology and consistent changed behaviour can repair damaged trust.

In some situations, you might not be able to apologise directly. In those cases, amends through action is key:

• Volunteer or give back to a cause
• Support someone going through something similar
• Speak kindly to yourself and others

Making amends not only helps heal relationships but also restores your self respect and moral integrity.

7. Understand When to Seek Support

Sometimes, dealing with guilt and regret feels impossible to do alone. You may feel stuck in a cycle of overwhelming feelings, negative emotions, and self punishment. This is where professional help can make a significant difference.

Consider seeking therapy if you are:

• Struggling with persistent guilt from childhood or trauma
• Unable to stop beating yourself up for past mistakes
• Feeling lost or defined by your regret
• Experiencing anxiety, muscle tension, or major depression

A mental health professional can offer guidance tailored to your needs, helping you build self acceptance and move through the healing process at your own pace.

8. Build Tools for Long Term Emotional Health

Dealing with guilt is not a one time event. It’s an ongoing commitment to emotional self care and resilience. To support your long term well being:

• Create healthy boundaries with people who contribute to your emotional distress
• Invest time in self care like sleep, nutrition, mindfulness and creativity
• Talk to close friends or trusted mentors for perspective
• Focus on personal growth and future goals
• Practice releasing guilt regularly through breathwork, reflection or ceremony

Guilt can serve as an internal alarm, signalling when you’ve made choices that conflict with your personal values. Recognizing this allows you to take action that aligns more closely with your goals and values, setting you on a path toward positive change.

Shifting your perspective on past mistakes is crucial. Instead of letting them define you, use these experiences as learning opportunities to make better decisions in the future. Reflecting on what you would do differently helps prevent repeating the same errors.

Learning to differentiate between situations within your control and those beyond it can bring more positivity and reduce unnecessary self blame. When you forgive yourself, you free yourself to look forward without being held back by past mistakes.

Your mental health benefits from these small, consistent efforts. Over time, they reinforce a deeper sense of worth and emotional balance.

Bonus: Guilt vs Shame

Understanding the distinction between guilt and shame is critical.

• Guilt says, “I did something wrong.”
• Shame says, “I am something wrong.”

Guilt focuses on behaviour, while shame attacks identity. People dealing with shame often withdraw, experience guilt chronically, and struggle to feel worthy of love.

To break the cycle:

• Acknowledge your mistakes without defining your self worth by them
• Replace shame talk with affirming statements
• Seek help if shame interferes with everyday life or relationships

Healing shame often requires deeper therapeutic work, but the result is profound emotional freedom.

Common Examples of Guilt and Regret

Here are some relatable scenarios where people might experience guilt or regret:

• Regretting how you treated a partner during a rough time
• Feeling guilty about not spending more time with family
• Experiencing guilt after saying something hurtful in an argument
• Regret about not pursuing a career opportunity
• Feeling responsible for a friend’s pain after setting a boundary

Each of these moments offers a chance for self reflection, release, and recommitment to living with intention.

The Role of Self Forgiveness

Self forgiveness is not about forgetting what happened. It’s about releasing guilt, learning from your past, and allowing yourself to grow. It involves:

• Accepting that you are human and will make mistakes
• Replacing negative talk with compassion
• Acknowledging guilt without letting it define you

Practicing compassion is integral to feeling fulfilled and content in life. You deserve the same kindness that you would offer to a friend.

This process creates space for self improvement and emotional integration. When guilt arises again in the future, you’ll be better equipped to manage it from a place of maturity and strength.

Moving Forward with Confidence

Dealing with guilt and regret requires courage. It asks you to confront uncomfortable emotions, admit mistakes, and choose healing over perfection. But the reward is emotional freedom, improved relationships, and a greater sense of integrity.

If you’re navigating heavy feelings of guilt, remember:

• You are not alone in what you feel
• Guilt makes sense when we value connection, trust and ethics
• You deserve healing and self compassion, just like anyone else

Whether you’re working through guilt with a therapist, journaling about your regret, or simply learning how to be kinder to yourself, every step you take matters.

Final Thoughts

Guilt and regret are not signs of weakness. They are signs that you care, that you have a sense of right and wrong, and that you want to do better.

Through mental health support, self reflection, and practical emotional tools, you can stop letting guilt control your life. You can deal with guilt in healthy, self respecting ways that lead to positive change, inner peace, and personal growth.

If you feel ready to release guilt, practise self compassion, or explore therapy, the team at Energetics Institute is here to support you.

Ready to deal with guilt and regret in a constructive way?
Contact Energetics Institute to book a consultation with a qualified mental health professional in Perth. We offer private practice counselling to help you release guilt, build emotional resilience, and take steps toward lasting well being.