In any long-lasting relationship, it’s inevitable that challenges will arise. However, even early on in a relationship, couples therapy can help keep it on track and avoid potential difficulties down the road.
Improving communication, fostering trust, resolving conflicts, and managing emotions can significantly improve relationships, as none of us are immune to relationship challenges. Seeking help through couples therapy can be a crucial step in resolving relationship issues and ensuring a successful future together. Recognizing when to ask for support can be the key to saving a struggling relationship.
If you are facing relationship issues and are seeking help, online couples therapy may be the solution you are looking for. The Australian Institute of Family Services (AIFS) stated that 71% of women and 62% of men who have tried couples therapy were satisfied with the counselling they had received.
To make your relationship stronger, it’s worth considering some of the effective techniques that have been successful for thousands of couples similar to yours. Read on to learn more.
“Couples therapy is a fantastic opportunity to unlock the full potential of our relationship. By delving into the underlying causes of our behaviour, we can tailor our approach to what works best for us. This exploration may take some time, but the insights and growth we will gain along the way make it a truly valuable experience.” ~ Richard Boyd, Director of Energetics Institute
Different Types of Couples Therapy
Contrary to popular belief, not all therapy sessions are the same. In fact, there is a unique form of therapy that caters to your individual needs and concerns. When it comes to couples therapy, the options are abundant, so you and your partner can easily find the most suitable technique to improve your relationship. Don’t hesitate to explore the various techniques available to you and find the one that works best for your relationship.
1. Reflective listening
Reflective listening is a highly effective couples therapy technique that focuses on improving communication between partners. This approach provides a supportive and safe environment where each person takes turns actively listening, allowing their partner to express themselves freely. If you’re looking to enhance your communication skills, consider learning more about reflective listening and other communication exercises for couples.
By reframing our statements and using “I” language, we can have more effective communication. Instead of blaming the other person by saying “you hurt my feelings,” we can express our own emotions in a more productive way, such as “I feel hurt when you are late.” This shift in language can lead to a more positive and productive conversation.
“Reflective listening is a technique that requires effort and practice, as it’s not an innate skill for many of us. Instead of trying to win arguments, many couples in counselling are encouraged to focus on truly understanding their partners and the way they express themselves. The content of the conversation becomes less important than the way it’s being communicated.” ~ Richard Boyd, Director of Energetics Institute
2. Emotion focused therapy
Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) is a powerful tool for couples who seek counselling. It aims to pinpoint the negative patterns that hinder the growth of the relationship and prevent partners from forming a strong emotional bond. By focusing on these patterns and behaviours, EFT can help couples heal and strengthen their connection in a positive way.
EFT was first developed in 1985 by psychologists Les Greenberg and Sue Johnson in response to the unusually high divorce rates in the 1980s. EFT is effective and helpful for most couples who use it.
3. Narrative therapy
Narrative therapy is a unique couples therapy approach where partners recount their relationship difficulties in the form of a story. This approach encourages them to re-tell and alter their stories, giving them a new perspective. The aim of narrative therapy is to help couples understand that one limited viewpoint cannot fully encompass the entire shared experience.
Narrative therapy can be a beneficial form of couples therapy for partners who feel responsible for the decline of their relationship. It can provide a positive outlook for those who believe they have failed and believe this is why their relationship is failing.
4. Solution-focused therapy
Solution-focused therapy is an effective approach for couples who have a targeted problem in their relationship and desire a quick resolution. Instead of dwelling on the same difficulties, this therapy enables couples to develop solutions for their issues and work towards achieving a specific, short-term goal.
5. Gottman method
The Gottman Method aims to deepen the understanding between partners, even during conflicts in their relationship. It provides couples with specific skills to help solve problems, increase intimacy and strengthen the bond of friendship. This approach is typically delivered through live workshops and take-home training materials, but many marriage and family therapists have adapted the method to be used in private therapy sessions.
6. Imago relationship therapy (IRT)
Imago relationship therapy (IRT) is a technique that aims to help couples understand the influence of their childhood experiences on their adult relationships. This form of therapy can uncover the root causes of relationship challenges such as commitment issues or anxiety. By delving into past traumas and experiences, partners can gain a deeper level of understanding and empathy for one another.
Couples counselling exercises that are worth trying
Couples counselling can be made more impactful through exercises and activities tailored to address specific challenges in the relationship. These exercises aim to foster understanding, strengthen connections, encourage forgiveness, and overcome any difficulties that the couple may be facing.
1. Identifying feelings
Disconnections in relationships often originate from a difficulty in recognizing and articulating our emotions. By practicing in a secure environment such as therapy, couples can learn to effectively communicate their feelings and improve their ability to do so in daily life.
2. Focusing on solutions
Addressing problems, accentuating the positive aspects, and redirecting unfavourable actions are all effective strategies for adopting a solutions-focused approach that can enhance your relationship.
3. Exploring the past
It’s common for past experiences to impact current relationships. Unresolved trauma, lingering fears, negative habits, and mistrust can all hinder the way we interact with our partner. Through exploring the past and recognizing any unhealthy patterns, therapy can aid in the process of healing and lead to the formation of a healthy relationship both now and in the future.
4. Alignment
By focusing on positive experiences and strengthening the bond between partners, alignment can make it easier to handle difficult conversations and address problematic issues. This can be achieved by revisiting happy memories from the early stages of the relationship or by fostering deeper connections to reinforce the partnership.
5. Expressing gratitude
Expressing gratitude is a recognized method to improve one’s mood and maintain a balanced outlook. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude leads to an increase in the hormone oxytocin, which promotes stress reduction and a sense of tranquility.
Practicing gratitude in your relationship, by frequently expressing it to your partner and openly sharing what you’re thankful for in them, can help foster a bond based on trust, appreciation, and mutual respect.
6. Identifying each other’s love language
It’s widely known that understanding the five love languages can lead to a deeper understanding of what makes your partner feel loved. These five love languages are just broad categories that encompass the ways people want to feel love: receiving gifts, receiving words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Knowing and acting on your and your partner’s love languages can strengthen your bond.
The 5 love languages are essentially just the broad categories that can explain what everyone wants (or needs) to feel love they are:
- Receiving gifts
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Quality time
- Physical touch
7. Making time for each other
Amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life, scheduling a dedicated time for your partner can help ensure that you make the most of your quality time together. By setting aside a specific time, you communicate to your partner that they are a priority in your life. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, even a simple hour can make a big impact in showing the significance of your relationship.
Finding a Couple Counsellor in Perth
Experience the ease and convenience of receiving emotionally focused couples therapy with the Energetics Institute. Say goodbye to the hassle of traveling to a therapist’s office and scheduling appointments. Our flexible counselling sessions are tailored to fit the lifestyle and needs of any couple, allowing you to fully reap the benefits of couples therapy without any added stress.
Whether you’re seeking to resolve relationship issues or improve overall relationship satisfaction, couples counselling can be a valuable investment in a healthy relationship. The Energetics Institute helps to streamline your therapy experience, so you can concentrate on fostering a healthy and strong relationship.
References
Cultural Adaptations of Emotionally Focused Therapy by Robert Allan, Caitlin Edwards & Nicholas Lee Published 4 Apr 2022
Resources
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