It is common to get angry in certain situations. Psychologists consider it a normal and healthy way to express our emotions. However, when your anger begins to affect your life and the relationships that you have, then it becomes a problem!
Having anger problems has been the cause of a lot of misery and heartache. Even when one knows that they have a short temper, it is usually not enough to stop the “red mist” from descending whenever their emotions are triggered.
It is for this reason that a lot of people end up seeking professional help before they irreversibly damage their relationships with friends, family, and colleagues.
If you have been suffering in silence from anger management issues, today is the day you can finally break free of those shackles. The Energetics Institute is here to offer you the solution you have been waiting for.
In this article, we will discuss all there is to know about anger management issues, some tips that may be of help, as well as where you can go for professional assistance.
Signs of Anger Issues
How do you know that your anger has now exceeded ordinary levels and is now a problem that you need to deal with? You have to take an objective look at how you have been handling stressful situations and how this has affected those around you.
Critical self-examination can be a difficult thing to do because the temptation to justify your behaviour will always be there. However, try to ask yourself the following questions:
- Have you either verbally or physically hurt anyone?
- Do you feel angry most of the time?
- Are you easily angered by small and petty issues?
- Do you feel like you have no control over your anger?
- Is regret a common feeling for you after a sudden outburst?
- Do your loved ones, friends, or colleagues walk on eggshells around you?
If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you may have an anger management issue that needs to be resolved. The more times you have answered “yes” the more advanced your anger issues are, and the quicker you need to take steps to solve them.
What Causes Anger?
Angry outbursts are often triggered by things in our environment that cause our emotions to spike. Some of the common causes of anger are:
- Stress
- Financial issues
- Abuse
- Poor social or familial situations
- Overwhelming pressure at home or work
- Alcoholism and drug abuse
- Being raised by parents with similar problems
- Genetics
- Hormonal imbalance
- Fear, anxiety, and depression
- Mental problems
As you can see, anger can be caused by a very wide range of things. However, what determines whether someone has anger management problems is how they choose to address these issues.
Anyone would be affected by these situations, but the reactions of a short-tempered person will be way more than what is considered proportional.
10 Great Tips That Could Help You
If you are ready to deal with your anger management once and for all, try some of these tips that are guaranteed by the experts to help you to control your anger:
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Try Some Relaxation Techniques
The times when you lose your cool, you probably feel like relaxing is the last thing you can do. However, you should try to calm down as much as you can. Many relaxation techniques are routinely used for this kind of situation and you should find the one that works best for you.
Try some deep breathing exercises, to begin with. The added oxygen supply to your blood and brain has the effect of slowing down your heart rate and relaxing your entire body. Just take a big breath in, hold it for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale.
Also imagine a relaxing scene while chanting back your chosen mantra, such as “calm down.” This will help you to get to an emotionally safe place where you can think more clearly.
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Pause a Second Then Speak
Often, when you have a temper tantrum, you end up regretting the things you said in anger. However, the damage will have already been done, so it’s better to nip that in the bud the moment you feel like you are about to say some hurtful things.
Take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and calm your emotions. This will allow you to look objectively at the situation and see how best to react calmly. If you need to walk into another room and come back when you are calm, do it!
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Laugh It Off!
A little bit of humour is great for putting things into perspective. Try to lighten up and look at the situation for what it is, not what your mind is telling you. It will also allow the other person to calm down as well.
It’s amazing how laughing will make everything immediately seem better. However, try by all means to void sarcasm. In this situation, it will only make things worse and possibly hurt the other person’s feelings.
Once the both of you have laughed things off, any unrealistic expectations you had should go away. Humour will also leave you both in a better mood and willing to listen to the other person’s side and feelings.
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Be Quick To Forgive
Have you ever heard the expression “be slow to anger and quick to forgive?” The reason why this saying is such a cliché is that it works. The art of forgiveness can be the most powerful weapon in your arsenal.
Many times, your anger will come from a place of feeling that you have been wronged in some way. Whether that is true or not will not matter to you when you are in the moment. Therefore, it helps to be ready to forgive others in all situations.
If you cannot learn how to forgive, you will find that some residual feelings of hurt will remain with you, only to boil to the surface the next time that person upsets you, making your angry reaction even worse.
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Tone Down the Criticism
When you are feeling angry, it is very easy to feel that you are the one who has been wronged and that the other person is refusing to accept the blame that is rightfully theirs. However, when there is a disagreement between two people, rarely is one person to blame for the entire thing.
By accepting your share of the blame, you can focus more on yourself than on criticizing others. Instead of repeatedly telling the other person what you think they did wrong, rather express why you feel that way and what your part in the whole situation is.
Replacing the word “you” with “I” is a great way to shift the focus away from the target of your anger and begin to work at possible solutions.
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Look For Practical Solutions
There is a practical solution to any problem if you are willing to work together to find it. Anger is all about addressing feelings and emotions, which is why it can come out as a very strong reaction sometimes.
When you put your mind to the task of finding a solution to the problem, any feelings of hurt and anger will be pushed to the background. A practical solution will also help you avoid being exposed to the same situation that makes you angry all the time.
If your partner makes you angry by being late all the time, for example, consider changing the times you meet so that you avoid going through the same arguments over and over again. Finding a solution helps you avoid the things that trigger your anger.
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Take a Break
When your kids are squabbling you often separate them and put them on time out, only to find them happily playing together a few minutes later, right? Well, this doesn’t only work for kids, because taking a break from the situation can help you as well.
All you need is to take a few moments alone to help you realize that the situation isn’t as bad as you think and to remind yourself to work on controlling your anger.
By the time you re-engage with the people who are making you angry, you will be better prepared to handle the situation in a calm and collected way. They will also have had time to think things through and benefit from the brief time out.
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Exercising Can Do Wonders
Regular exercise is great for many things, and anger management is one of them. When you get your blood pumping, your body will release endorphins, or feel-good hormones, that are great at calming you down and having a better outlook on things.
When you feel your anger starting to boil to the top, sweat it out of your system in a way that benefits your health rather than destroys your relationships. A quick 10-minute run will leave you feeling breathless, but happy and calm.
By the time you come back from your run or walk, you would have given yourself time to think things through, allowed the other person to calm down too, and flooded your body with endorphins at the same time.
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Calm Down Then Discuss It
If you apply any of these tips and they help you to calm down, that is only half the journey. You need to address your feelings about the situation openly and calmly. If you do not do this, those emotions will be waiting to burst out the next time your temper rises.
Talk to the other person about why you get angry and what practical solutions you can come up with. Allow yourself to think carefully over the words you are saying and try not to get defensive in the process.
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Time To Seek Help
When all else fails, it’s time to seek help. Do not be embarrassed to admit to your partner, family, and friends that you need professional help.
You will be surprised at how willing to help the people around you are. Many professional techniques can be used to help you overcome your anger issues once and for all.
Reach Out to the Energetics Institute Today
The Energetics Institute has a specialized anger management program designed to help people in your exact situation. With the help of their proven techniques and a little dedication, you can find a healthy solution to your problem.
You can give them a call and schedule an anger management counselling appointment with one of their qualified therapists as you take the first steps to control your anger and mending your relationships with those around you.
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